What if I told you, the reason you sign up for all of those business freebies is in your head formed as negative thought patterns? What if I told you that what you are missing is based on fear and lack?
Our mind is wired to make us find solutions to answers. If we feel like something in life isn’t working out, there is surely something we are missing, right? Wrong! Our brain likes to complete the loop, find answers to problems that aren’t even problems. If something eludes us, it must mean we need to find the answer.
Answer this…tic…tac..did your mind answer the word toe? See what I mean? Your brain is ready to jump in and problem solve. Evolution made us need this skill. It is what kept us alive and able to make split-second decisions to save our own hide. Luckily we don’t usually need this skill today, but we can sometimes create dramas in our mind when we are really fine.
When it comes to business, we think that what we are missing can be fixed by some elusive unicorn freebie that will magically transform your business into the business of our dreams. We will get to eat bonbons from Chris Hemsworth whilst waving our little star wand!
Poof! Back to reality. Our issue is the way we think about our situation. We give power to thoughts that truly have NO POWER. Events are neutral, it is our thought pattern that gives it power.
Our not being far enough in business can be because we are not getting out of our own way. We give too much power to negative emotions and feel there must be something that can fix our predicament.
It is our emotional charge that we give to the thoughts that get us in trouble.
Something happens in the course of the day that didn’t go exactly as planned. You had your day planned to work after the kids went to bed and a list for your business to knock out. Instead, you stayed up and watched movies with your teen.
Mom guilt can set in strong and we can want to truly be in 2 places at once. We damn ourselves if we do or we don’t! We set ourselves up for failure no matter which option we choose! Sound familiar?
My thought process was endless chatter about how I failed my business by not doing the tasks, but I have to be a good mother. My thoughts condemn me because I failed my business AND I wasn’t truly present with my kids because I was thinking about my business tasks. Hell and damnation, I am a failure!
There are times it is truly not in my best interest to do what my kids want, but I do in chase of the elusive award for being the worlds bestest mom. I let my thoughts run wild. If I work on my business, my kids will grow up remembering I ignored them June 27th, 2018 for an hour, 34 minutes, and 34 seconds.
Here is the thing, my little love muffin…you need to STOP being so hard on yourself. You can’t give yourself zero outs by being wrong and guilty no matter which way you go in decisions.
Assessing your thoughts and the power you give them is HUGE! Here is a bit of mindset coaching 101. The answer is right there inside of you! When something happens, ask yourself if you are over-reacting. Observe the moment without the emotional charge. Are you giving away so much more power to a situation that isn’t even that big of a deal?
Is everything a drama, someone or something screwed up your day? The person at work annoyed you, now you are going to bring it home to complain about and toxic dump work sludge on your family? Look at YOUR thoughts and the negative spin YOU are giving to the event.
You can choose how you react. Holy crap, right? Wrap your mind around that healthy mindset tip!
In learning how to react, we also need to address another mindset pitfall. Learning to be where we want to be, not where we grudgingly agreed to be is also important. Many of us are chronic YES people. Stop giving away your energy! Choose you!
Don’t always do for other people unless you want to be energetically drained and end up sick years later! We have so many internal rules that make us the “Good Girl” that agrees to everything! It’s time to reprogram!
Our mind has a switch called the “Ego,” and the main job of the ego is to set up rules that keep us safe. While this worked when we were 5, our rulebook was written by many that tell us what is right and wrong. Cool when we are 5, but we still live by that rulebook. Unless you really do some deep work, your rules might just be a little outdated.
One of your rules you might have learned young is that you don’t say no to adults. So when someone asks you to do something, you want to say no, but your Ego says you must. The thing about the ego is it runs very silently in the background. If you do for everyone but you, you are most likely suffering from old, outdated rules!
You can say no to things you don’t wish to do!
If you are too busy living in what the future should look like, you are missing the journey! You cannot live in the future and be planted in the present. You cannot live in the past or the future. You can set yourself up for success in the future, but to worry about things you have no control of in the future robs you of your joy in the present, not to mention your business success!
Are you mad you only have 4 clients, instead of the 8 you wanted? How about enjoying the life you have right now? A mindset hack I have when I feel I am not moving forward, is I look back. I see where I was a year ago in my business. Transform that thought into being happy for the 4 amazing clients you have!
I hope some of these tips resonated deeply within you, as they did me. If you would like to work on more mindset work, I have 2 avenues to do so! For the new business owner, I have DIY courses. As related to this post, I would highly recommend my book, “Become The Real You In Life and Business.”
I also am available for private coaching sessions and I would love to help show you how you can change your mindset! Schedule coaching today!